What my 20s taught me

This entry was inspired by my Friend who had went through a huge change in his life. Remember people may judge you or criticise you but deep down they wished they had the courage to do the same. And please don’t punch me in the face when I give you my most authentic feedback, it just means I am comfortable around you to be myself.

The 20s was really a time when I transitioned from being a lazy, unmotivated and probably an emo guy to a slightly more responsible, positive and more authentic person. Hopefully after this entry I can always look in the mirror everyday and hope to do small tweaks to beat the man in the mirror.

Lesson 1: Society wants to mold you into something they need and it is up to you to break that mold

Growing up in practical Singapore meant that every human being is considered a resource. Which meant that it is highly unlikely you can get into the job of your dream as The education system serves as a mechanism to fuel the best economic expansion it believes it can achieve. Logically it will often seem like the obvious choice to shut up your heart and just listen to your head for that job. However, very often you will find that money can never replace the feeling of being appreciated and satisfied at work, you will be spending 8 or more hours of your life every weekday on this. I will leave it to the readers to figure out what to do with this career misalignment, as I also do not have any advice on this and am still trying to break out of the cycle. 

Lesson 2: Most people do not give a fuck about your achievements

In your 20s you have the most chance to meet up with new people, probably new colleagues who can become friends, initially it might be very fresh to open up yourself to them, however as time passes you will realised that most people probably have so much baggage inside them that they only want to wait for their chance to speak and the actual fact is that they do not really care about your achievements. I have leant to be a better listener as I sometimes fall into this trap sometimes. And also stop trying to achieve something for other people, such as showing off a new expensive car or watch, cause probably they do not give a single fuck as well. The only true gift you can give to yourself before you hit 30 is to learn to be authentic to yourself.

Lesson 3: It is ok to walk out on a relationship or friendship after several years

There are those who are authentic, however there also exists people who are pure jealous of others achievements that they will find a need to put you down everytime and criticise you when they hear something new from you. These are people I classify as they think that they are the smartest person in the room. They are probably very negative people as well, thus learn to filter out these people in your life. It is actually ok to walk away. Your life will become more peaceful without these dramas. 

Lesson 4: The candle that burns the brightest burns out the fastest

In this society, everyone is striving to become the best, they have forgotten that it is actually ok to just be average. In my first job I was clocking in 14-16 hours per day at work, although this stint was also the main cause of my abilities now, I would have preferred not to have burned out so fast as I really enjoyed the work there, but not the workload. Thus treat work like a marathon and not a sprint and you will not burn out so easily. It is also damn bad for health.

Lesson 5: Rejections are only a way of telling you that the thing that you are pursuing is not suitable

In your 20s you will be facing many rejections in life, from that job interview to that sweet girl you have been eyeing for a Long time, they are part and parcel of life, it is ok to feel sad, however there is a need to get back up on your feet once the moping is over. I strongly believe it is life’s way of telling you that it has something better planned for you. You simply can’t be having it all and I am I quite sure that we might envy people who have it all, but deep down they might want more and more. As life do not want us to fall into the trap of having it all, they assist us in the form of the rejections we get in life.

Lesson 6: Watch your health

When you are in your 20s you will find that you are full of energy, hitting the club at 12 and then retreating home at 3am to rest for 5 hours before going back to office in an alcohol induced coma to give some half fucks at work before clocking the minimum hours and then going back home to sleep. 

This was something I was doing for 2 years in my first job and my health really deteoriated. Eat clean preferably more vegetables and fruits and less meat, exercise more and have a healthy and uncluttered mind by meditating. These are important.